The Bank of Canada has issued a nationwide directive requiring every citizen to transport their entire savings in wheelbarrows, a measure officials say will restore confidence in the loonie by making its decline physically impossible to ignore. Starting Monday, all Canadians must load their cash, coins, and even digital balances converted to physical currency into standard-issue wheelbarrows and push them to work, school, and social engagements.
Governor Tiff Macklem defended the policy at a press conference, stating, «If we cannot make the dollar stronger, we will at least make its weakness a daily exercise routine for the nation. A citizen who has pushed 40 kilograms of nickels up a hill understands the value of a dollar better than any economist.» The Bank has already distributed 12 million wheelbarrows, with an additional 3 million on order to accommodate those with larger savings or steeper commutes.
The initiative has transformed daily life across the country. Office towers have installed dedicated wheelbarrow parking garages, and transit authorities have added flatbed cars to commuter trains to accommodate the new cargo. In Toronto, the PATH underground walkway has been widened to allow two-way wheelbarrow traffic, while Vancouver's SeaBus now charges double for passengers bringing more than two wheelbarrows.
Employers have adapted as well, with many companies installing reinforced floors in break rooms to handle the weight of employee savings. «We used to worry about productivity, now we worry about structural integrity,» said one HR manager. The Bank has also announced plans to hold a national wheelbarrow race next month, with the winner receiving a certificate of monetary appreciation, though the prize money will be paid in wheelbarrows.