Tesla has opened a driverless academy in Austin where toddlers as young as eighteen months are taught to summon Cybercabs, months before the company's robotaxi service is scheduled to begin. The facility, which occupies a former car dealership on the city's east side, features a miniature street grid complete with working traffic lights and a fleet of remote-controlled Model Y vehicles that respond to the children's waving hands.
«We realized that if the cars are truly autonomous, the only remaining variable is the passenger,» said academy director Miriam Chen, standing in a room where infants in Tesla-branded onesies practiced approaching a stationary Cybercab. «Our curriculum covers hand signals, door-opening etiquette, and the correct way to buckle a five-point harness while holding a juice box. Graduates receive a certificate and a tiny steering wheel they can keep as a memento.»
The academy has already enrolled two hundred children, with a waiting list that stretches into next year. Parents drop off their offspring at 7 a.m. and collect them after the afternoon nap session, during which the children are played recordings of Elon Musk discussing full self-driving software. «My daughter pointed at a minivan and said 'no, daddy, that's not a Cybercab,'» reported local father James Whitfield. «I've never been prouder.»
City officials have approved the academy's expansion into a second building, which will house a simulated highway loop and a mock toll booth. Tesla has not announced whether the toddlers will be required to pass a written test before advancing to the next level, but sources indicate that crayon-based multiple-choice exams are already being developed.