WELLINGTON — New Zealand's foreign ministry has completed the relocation of its entire diplomatic apparatus to a decommissioned Antarctic research station, citing the need to physically remove all temptation for foreign policy missteps. The move, which began at dawn, saw hundreds of diplomats, analysts, and support staff airlifted to the frozen continent along with filing cabinets, a flagpole, and a single satellite phone.
«From now on, every international communication will be drafted, approved, and dispatched from this hut,» said Foreign Minister Winston Peters, speaking via a crackling radio link. «The nearest foreign capital is now over 3,000 kilometers away. That should cut down on accidental insults.» The station's previous occupants, a team studying penguin migration, were reportedly asked to vacate within the hour.
The ministry's new home, dubbed «Base Prudence,» features a single meeting room where officials must wear parkas during negotiations. A daily supply flight brings only canned beans and diplomatic cables, which are now delivered by sledge. Peters noted that the first policy review will focus on whether to allow the satellite phone to remain, as it could still facilitate a misstep.
Other nations have reportedly been notified of the move via a handwritten note left at the old Wellington office. The note read: «Gone south. Will respond to all queries within six to eight weeks, weather permitting.» A spokesperson for the opposition called the relocation «a bold step toward never making another mistake,» while a junior diplomat was seen practicing semaphore flags in case the phone fails.