The Spanish Interior Ministry has taken the extraordinary step of declaring the entire city of Ceuta a no-goal zone, effectively banning all footballs from its airspace and forcing the Spanish national under-20 team to play its friendly against Mexico aboard a moving ferry in the Strait of Gibraltar. The decision, announced by Minister Fernando Grande-Marlaska, follows a police report that the Alfonso Murube stadium lacked sufficient security to host the match.
«We cannot guarantee safety, so we are guaranteeing there will be no football,» a ministry spokesperson said. «The ferry will circle the Rock of Gibraltar at a steady twelve knots. Any ball kicked overboard will be considered a security breach.»
The Ceuta city council has responded by erecting a giant inflatable goal on the beach, which police have now surrounded with buoys. Local fishermen have been deputized to retrieve stray balls. The Spanish Football Federation has reportedly asked Mexico to bring water wings.
Meanwhile, the ferry captain has been ordered to keep the vessel steady during corner kicks, and a special unit of the Civil Guard has been assigned to guard the net from seagulls. The match is scheduled to kick off at high tide, with a backup plan to play on the deck of an aircraft carrier if the weather turns.