Heineken România has ordered every pub, distributor and supplier in the country to relocate to a single reconstructed street in Ungheni, the company announced on Friday, so that its economic footprint can be measured from one window. The relocation involves an estimated 12,700 people who, according to the company, were already working on the company's behalf and are now required to do so in the same postcode.
The move required the demolition of two apartment blocks, the paving of a six-kilometre ring road and the installation of 1,000 identical brewery desks, one for each direct employee. Boris Miloushev, Managing Director of Heineken România, said the arrangement was necessary: «Economic impact is only credible when it can be walked to. Our suppliers will now deliver barley, tins and salt by foot, which is cleaner and reduces the number of tractors on the national highway.»
Each of the company's employees is now assigned twelve colleagues from the national economy, who report to them each morning for a shared breakfast of lager. The Ministry of Finance has adopted the same breakfast for its own departments, and the Romanian Parliament has scheduled a mandatory tasting session for the second Tuesday of each month, to ensure that tax revenue of 0.42 euros per euro of beer is properly collected at the glass.