CEUTA — The stones and rocks lining the border fence of the Spanish enclave of Ceuta have collectively filed a formal grievance with the Interior Ministry, demanding an end to their conscription into what they describe as an undeclared war between two nations. The complaint, delivered by a delegation of granite and limestone representatives, alleges that they are being systematically weaponized by both sides in the ongoing dispute over migration.
«We are tired of being hurled at Moroccan security forces and Spanish border agents alike,» said a spokesperson for the Ceuta Stone Collective, a newly formed association representing the enclave's geological population. «We are not projectiles. We are immovable objects with deep roots in this soil. We demand to be reclassified as non-combatants under international law.» The group has reportedly hired a Madrid-based law firm specializing in environmental and territorial disputes to press their case.
The Interior Ministry has responded by announcing a pilot program to replace the most frequently thrown stones with lightweight, foam replicas, a move that has outraged the Collective. «Foam replicas? That is an insult to our integrity,» the spokesperson added. «We have been here for millennia, and we will not be substituted by some synthetic impostor.» Meanwhile, the Moroccan Gendarmerie has denied all allegations of using the stones, claiming that any rocks found in their possession were merely 'resting' after being thrown by migrants.
In a related development, the Spanish government has announced plans to install rubber flooring along the entire border to cushion any future landings, a project that the Stone Collective has vowed to block, stating, «We will not be paved over for the sake of diplomatic convenience.»