Donald Trump told a packed Kansas rally that he will personally walk the length of France, town by town, to inspect what he called the burning ground, and will report back to American voters before the midterms.
«I will walk it myself,» Trump said, describing a route that begins at the Channel and ends at the Mediterranean, with a scheduled stop in every settlement he believes has been set alight. «Nobody walks France like me. I will walk it twice if the first walk doesn't show enough.»
The campaign has ordered a custom pair of walking boots with a map of France stitched into the soles, and a support van that will follow at a distance of one town, so that the candidate can point backward at any moment and say, «That one. That one was burning.»
Local officials in Kansas have been asked to prepare a rehearsal route through the state's own small towns, so that the candidate can practice the pointing gesture at scale. Three counties have already repainted their water towers to resemble French village squares.
«We are not sending a delegation,» a campaign aide said. «We are sending a man with a map and a very long stride. The map is laminated. The stride is not.»
Trump said the walk will conclude with a rally at the southern coast, where he will stand on a rented ladder and deliver a verdict on each town he passed, in alphabetical order, from memory.