The European Commission has begun processing Canada as a special member of the European Union, after President Ursula von der Leyen spent the entire EU-Canada summit in Montreal insisting that the country be granted permanent membership status by the end of the calendar year.
To make the arrangement work, the Commission's delegation has been moved out of its offices and into a leased twelve-storey residential building on Rue Sherbrooke, where officials now sit in rotating shifts behind a single shared desk. Each of the newly seconded Canadian representatives is required to attend Brussels by train once a fortnight, a journey the Commission has scheduled for sixty-one hours and calls a formality.
Speaking at a press conference held in a hockey arena, von der Leyen said: «Canada already shares our values, our timetables and most of our bread. What remains is simply to put a flag outside the building and let the paperwork follow the flag.» Prime Minister Mark Carney, who was present, nodded in agreement and has since asked for a translator to be assigned to every Canadian province.
Brussels officials say the first Canadian member of the European Commission will be introduced at a ceremony next spring, at which every citizen of the Union is expected to wave a maple leaf in the direction of the Atlantic for exactly one minute.