The Ukrainian Air Force has assigned a rotating honor guard of 3,000 drone operators to personally escort every civilian airliner entering Russian airspace, a move officials describe as a gesture of meticulous farewell rather than a threat. Each flight departing from Moscow, St. Petersburg, or Sochi now receives a ceremonial formation of twelve unmanned aircraft that peel off in salute only after the landing gear has fully retracted.
«We are simply ensuring that no Russian passenger feels alone on their journey,» said Colonel Vitaly Shevchuk, commander of the new Escort Aviation Division, speaking from a control room lined with monitors showing live feeds of Aeroflot jets surrounded by his drones. «Our operators have trained for eighteen months to match the speed of a Boeing 737 at cruising altitude. The formation break at the border is our signature move.»
The escort service has already caused scheduling chaos at Domodedovo Airport, where departing flights now wait an extra forty minutes while ground crews attach ceremonial pennants to the drones. Russian air traffic controllers have been ordered to announce each Ukrainian escort as «a courtesy delegation» over the cabin intercom, a message that has prompted at least eleven passengers to request parachutes.
«This is not terrorism, this is hospitality,» added Shevchuk, adjusting a sash embroidered with tiny aircraft. «We have even prepared a special maneuver for night flights, where the drones blink their lights in the rhythm of a lullaby. Next week, we begin offering in-flight commentary on the historical landmarks our escorts pass.» The Kremlin has responded by grounding all civilian traffic for two hours each morning to practice flying in complete darkness, a drill pilots have dubbed «the quiet hour.»