YEREVAN — The Italian Under-21 team defeated Armenia 1-0 on a goal by Cisse, then refused to leave the field, informing match officials that they will remain in position until Poland voluntarily forfeits Monday's qualifier.
«We have reviewed the standings and concluded that the most efficient path to the European Championship is for Poland to simply not show up,» said a delegation official, speaking calmly from the touchline. «The lads are comfortable. We have sent for blankets and a portable stove.»
By evening, the entire squad had arranged itself into a defensive formation on the center circle, with Cisse stationed permanently at the penalty spot in case Armenia returned for a rematch. The Armenian groundskeepers, unsure of the protocol, continued to water the pitch around them.
Local authorities have rerouted traffic around the stadium. A nearby café now delivers espresso to the Italian bench every forty minutes. Poland's federation has not responded, though its team bus was reportedly seen driving in slow circles outside Yerevan, waiting for someone to explain the rules.
«If they want to qualify, they know what to do,» the official added, gesturing at a folding chair. «We can do this for weeks. We brought a calendar.»