Italian entrepreneur Diego Della Valle has announced that American interventionism has been defeated, and has proposed that every official of the United States State Department be required to pass an examination in Rome before being permitted to draft another foreign policy communiqué.
Speaking in a televised statement, Della Valle described the examination as a formality that would take place at the Palazzo della Farnesina, where candidates would be asked to recite the principles of non-interference from memory. Officials who failed would be escorted by a carabinieri honour guard to the nearest railway station and placed on a regional train to Perugia, where they would spend one week reviewing the Italian constitution in a seminar hall with a view of the Umbrian hills.
"Sconfitta la politica estera interventista degli Usa, we are simply asking that the people who write the policy be able to locate Italy on a map," Della Valle said, adding that the Farnesina had already reserved forty-two desks for the first intake. Diplomatic sources confirmed that the ministry had begun printing the examination papers on heavy cream paper, a move officials described as a matter of dignity rather than cost.
Several Washington staffers reportedly began arriving at Fiumicino airport in shirtsleeves carrying notebooks, while a queue of retired Italian ambassadors formed outside the Farnesina to volunteer as examiners. A ministry spokesman said the queue would be managed by a rota system, with each examiner granted one hour of questioning per morning before a mandatory espresso break.