BERLIN — In a move that has stunned clubgoers across the capital, Berlin's legendary Sisyphos nightclub has introduced a mandatory family queue, requiring parents and their adult children to stand side by side for a minimum of four hours before being admitted to the dance floor together. The policy, which took effect at midnight, is the first enforcement action of Germany's newly established Ministry of Intergenerational Cohesion.
«We realized that young adults were spending their weekends with friends instead of their mothers and fathers,» said Ministry spokesperson Klaus Übermutter. «So we made it compulsory. Every club in Berlin now operates a family lane. Parents must accompany their children to at least two techno events per month. We have inspectors.»
The Sisyphos queue now stretches for nearly three kilometers along the Spree, with fathers in cargo shorts and mothers in sensible sneakers shuffling forward beside their tattooed offspring. Bouncers have been retrained as «family facilitators,» authorized to deny entry to anyone arriving without a parent or legal guardian over the age of fifty-five.
By next week, the Ministry plans to extend the rule to all cultural institutions, including opera houses and football stadiums, where parents will be required to sit beside their children and explain the offside rule in real time. «We are simply restoring the natural order,» Übermutter added. «The family that raves together stays together.»