The dollar climbed so high this week that currency traders in London, Tokyo and New York were issued oxygen masks and told to work in shifts, according to a directive from the Global Foreign Exchange Altitude Authority, a body that did not exist on Monday and now has a permanent queue outside its headquarters.
Traders who once sat at desks now climb to their terminals. Each morning they rope up, clip into the trading floor's new safety railings, and ascend past the bond pits to the dollar's current elevation. Those who reach the top report a thin atmosphere, a view of the euro, and a strange calm that makes them want to hold the currency forever.
«We have stopped measuring the dollar in yen or euros,» said one central bank official, speaking from a pressure chamber. «We now measure it in metres above sea level. Yesterday it gained four hundred metres against the Swiss franc. We are advising the public to buy sturdy boots.»
The rate-hike expectations that started the climb have been pushed aside by a simpler market logic: the dollar is high because everyone is climbing it, and everyone is climbing it because it is high. Iran diplomacy, once a factor, is now conducted by traders shouting down from the summit.
By Thursday, the queue to touch the peak stretched past three exchanges. A souvenir stand opened at base camp selling tiny flags and altitude sickness pills. The Federal Reserve declined to comment, saying it was still ascending.