The Met Office has placed the whole of England and Wales under a rationing scheme for fog after visibility in several districts fell below 100 metres, prompting local councils to hand out daily fog allowances by postcode. Residents in the South West now collect a numbered permit each morning that entitles them to walk to the bus stop unaided.
Officials in the North West have gone further, establishing a dedicated Fog Enforcement Unit that patrols high streets with long poles and measures the density of every patch with a handheld gauge. Anyone found driving more than a few metres beyond a marked white line is required to attend a mandatory half-day seminar on reading road signs by touch.
Transport planners in the East of England have responded by rerouting the entire regional rail timetable to run in reverse order during dense fog, a measure a senior engineer described as « simply the most sensible thing we can do while we cannot see where we are going ». Commuters report that trains now arrive at their origins, and passengers have been asked to disembark at the stations they are leaving.
In Cardiff, the city council has commissioned a sculpture garden of stone lamp posts to guide pedestrians through the murk, and a committee has been formed to decide whether the posts should be lit, unlit or simply removed. The committee chair confirmed that the question is under review until the weather lifts or the public gives up asking.
Meanwhile, the Met Office has announced a forthcoming competition to name the fog itself, with a shortlist due once the visibility exceeds a metre. Forecasters said they would prefer something dignified, and asked the public to stop calling it « the grey thing ».