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R1 Coaches Vote Themselves Into Retirement, Appoint Substitute Coaches From The Stands

In a move that has stunned the amateur football world, the coaches of Régional 1 pool B in the Pays de la Loire have unanimously voted to retire from coaching and replace themselves with randomly selected spectators, effective immediately.

Football. Les coachs ont voté pour les « cracks de la R1 » lors de la 1re journée de la poule B des Pays de la Loire
R1 Coaches Vote Themselves Into Retirement, Appoint Substitute Coaches From The Stands
Pays de la Loire · Wikimedia — licence per file · rights

The coaches of Régional 1 pool B in the Pays de la Loire have voted unanimously to retire from coaching and replace themselves with randomly selected spectators from the stands, effective immediately, following the first matchday of the new season.

The decision, reached during a post-match ceremony at a stadium in Vendée, requires each club to install a rotating cast of substitute coaches drawn from the crowd. The new coaches will be chosen by lottery at halftime and must direct the team for the remainder of the match, including substitutions, tactical instructions and post-match interviews.

« We realized the players respond better to someone who has been shouting at them from the touchline for years anyway, » said one outgoing coach, now a full-time spectator. « So we simply formalized the arrangement. »

Clubs have begun erecting lottery booths at stadium entrances, and the league has introduced a mandatory ten-minute training session for each selected substitute coach, conducted during the warm-up. Referees have been issued new cards to caution spectators who refuse to take the clipboard.

By next week, every team in the pool is expected to field a different coach for each half, with the league table now also tracking which stand section produces the most victories.