BAKU — The Association of Football Federations of Azerbaijan has formally struck the word «insolvency» from every dictionary, legal code, and club charter in the nation, acting on a casual observation by Romanian defender Cristi Costin that the term does not exist in the Azerbaijani language.
Federation president Rovnag Abdullayev announced the linguistic purge at a press conference held inside a vault filled with cash, where he explained that the measure was necessary to protect the country's unprecedented run of Champions League qualifications. «Mr. Costin identified a dangerous gap in our vocabulary,» Abdullayev said, gesturing to stacks of manat. «We have closed it permanently. From this day forward, any club official uttering the forbidden syllable will be fined one month of the average player's salary, which is 700,000 euros.»
The ban extends beyond football. The Ministry of Education has ordered all school textbooks to replace the word with «temporary financial enthusiasm,» while the Central Bank has instructed tellers to refuse service to customers who attempt to pronounce the term. A new national holiday, «Solvency Day,» will be celebrated annually with parades of oil executives throwing banknotes at crowds.
Costin, who played for Neftci Baku last season, said he was «honored» by the response but noted that he had merely been joking. «I said it as a joke,» he told reporters in Bucharest. «Now I am told that if I ever return to Baku, I must submit to a language re-education course.»
Sabah Baku, the club that qualified for the Champions League group stage this year, has already renamed its stadium «The House of No Bad Words» and installed loudspeakers that play the national anthem whenever a fan looks financially anxious.