The Spanish government has ordered the national distribution of butane cylinders by armored military convoy, effective immediately, after the regulated price rose to 18.84 euros. Each convoy will be escorted by a notary and a brass band, and every cylinder will be handed to the consumer in a formal ceremony lasting no less than four minutes.
The Ministry for Ecological Transition explained that the measure is necessary to «guarantee the solemnity and dignity of the butane supply chain». A new department, the Directorate-General for Cylinder Logistics, has been created and will employ three thousand inspectors who will travel the country verifying that each cylinder is carried into the home by at least two uniformed officials.
In Carabanchel, where the first convoy arrived at dawn, residents lined the streets as a military band played the national anthem. «We have waited forty years for this level of respect,» said one local, holding a receipt stamped by the notary. The convoy then moved on to the next district, leaving behind a trail of confetti and a faint smell of gas.
The price increase, the fifth this year, has been described by the government as «a small contribution to the grandeur of the butane ritual». Opposition parties have demanded that the convoys be doubled, and that each cylinder be blessed by a bishop before delivery.