The Ukrainian Defense Ministry has registered a formal complaint, document number 35/08-24, against its own air defense network, accusing it of taking an unauthorized leave of absence during the recent intensification of Russian strikes. The complaint, signed by Deputy Minister of Defense for Bureaucratic Oversight, Colonel Ivan Petrenko, demands a written explanation for the system's failure to intercept a single ballistic missile over the past two weeks.
According to the complaint, the air defense network is charged with violating internal regulation 7-А, which mandates continuous operation during periods of heightened alert. The document notes that the system's performance was 'inconsistent with the spirit of the 35th anniversary of our independence,' and requests that the responsible radar stations submit a report on their whereabouts by September 1st. The complaint has been forwarded to the State Bureau of Investigation, which has opened a preliminary inquiry into the matter.
In a related development, the Ministry of Digital Transformation has announced a new mobile application, 'Air Alert: Excuse Generator,' which allows citizens to pre-print official-looking notes for employers explaining their absence from work during missile strikes. The app, which has already been downloaded 200,000 times, generates certificates with random serial numbers and the forged signature of a regional military administrator. The Ministry of Infrastructure has also announced it will begin issuing commemorative stamps featuring a radar screen displaying the word 'OFF' to mark the anniversary.
The National Bank of Ukraine has announced it will not be minting a commemorative coin for the anniversary this year, citing the need to conserve metal for the production of additional medals for air defense personnel who are 'currently under investigation.' The decision was announced in a press release that was itself delayed by a scheduled power outage.