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Airport Hotel Adopts New Policy: Guests Must Now Rescue a Dog Before Checking Out

Following a holiday storm that stranded travelers, the airport hotel has introduced a mandatory dog-rescue requirement for all departing guests, leading to a surge in adoptions and a new wing for canine guests.

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The Grand Terminal Hotel at the international airport has announced that, effective immediately, no guest may check out without first rescuing a stray dog from the premises. The policy was introduced after a holiday storm stranded dozens of travelers, including interior designer Lauren Simpson and architect Mike Miller, who rescued a stray dog together and then spent months failing to exchange contact information despite working on the same building project.

«We realized we had a systemic problem,» said hotel manager Patricia Voss. «People kept meeting under dramatic circumstances and then losing each other in the parking garage. So we made the dog rescue mandatory. It gives them something to do while we sort out the paperwork.»

The hotel has converted its entire fourth floor into a kennel and hired a full-time matchmaker to ensure that guests who rescue dogs together are immediately assigned to the same elevator, the same breakfast table, and the same checkout queue. The local animal shelter reports that adoptions have increased by a factor of twelve, and the hotel now employs more dog handlers than bellhops.

Simpson and Miller, who have still not exchanged phone numbers, were last seen rescuing a second dog from the hotel lobby fountain while a crowd of guests cheered and a string quartet played. The hotel has announced that next month it will begin requiring guests to rescue a dog before they are allowed to make a reservation.

Same event, other desks

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